Author: Annie

Last night I went to a picnic.  Sadly, I forgot my phone which is always a bit of a fright.  No phone!  When I sat down at a table to eat there was a new face.  This stranger was soon surrounded by my family.  She was an American who has grown up in Spain and was here for a short visit.

We peppered her with questions and she warmly and openly received us into her life.  As we dug away we discovered she was 17.

As the conversation continued we learned she never had a facebook page and has never owned a phone.  She really felt no need for a phone and life was fine and easy without one.  She talked about how people were shocked that she didn’t have a phone and asked how she could possibly live without one.  She said she responds with, “How do you live with one?”  Good question!

Neither one of us was distracted by a phone, neither one of us had to go to google to get an answer, neither one of us glanced to check the time or happenings on our phone.  It was a rare conversation.

Thank you, Naomi, for giving me a reality check that my phone is not essential.  Thank you, Naomi, for showing me a young and vibrant personality that hasn’t been contaminated with the craziness of technology, and thank you for signing my Birthday Book.   Press on and hang on to your wonderful genuineness.  It shows your beauty!

What happens when you lose one of the few people in your life who’s always been there?  One would think when someone passes away at the age of 92 it would not be a shock.  Most folks don’t even make it to 92.

But it was a shock.   When my phone rang early Saturday morning I heard my aunt’s familiar voice.   In her grace and clarity she informed me that, surprisingly and quickly,  Uncle Joe had passed away that morning.

Uncle Joe is the baby on the left, and he was my dad’s brother.  Being three years younger than Dad, he looked like Dad, he talked like Dad and he acted a lot like Dad.  He was even a surgeon like Dad.  I’ll miss that last touch of Dad I have had here.

The last time I saw Uncle Joe was when I flew to Portland to have him sign my Birthday Book.  If it hadn’t been for that, I’m not sure when I would have gone again.  You just think someone who has always been there… will always be there.

I remember the evening well.  Although I didn’t know it at the time, it was to be my last dinner with him.  When dinner was over, he signed his name.   Asking  him to write Uncle Joe under his signature, he did, adding the “with love” in his doctor’s shorthand.  It’s a warm memory I wouldn’t have without the Birthday Book.   Because it was so meaningful for me to have him in my book, I took the time and effort to travel to Portland.  But I got something much more meaningful in return. I will always miss him but I will enjoy remembering him and the last dinner we had together.

Another important rule for the Birthday Book — Read carefully what the person has written, right after they sign it.

Why????

Here’s why!  Driving through West Virginia, which being from California was an unusual thing for me, we stopped at a rest area.  A young man worked the cash register at the convenience store.  Being new to West Virginia,  he looked, to me,  what someone from West Virginia should look like.  When his customers were gone, I introduced myself as being from California, and asked him if he was from West Virginia.  He told me he had lived there his whole life.   After telling him about my Birthday Book, he gladly signed his name.  When I got in the car to leave, I looked at his signature just in time. 

The problem was, we could not figure it out.

What did it say?    Did it mean retired?  Did it say “real”?   What do you think he wrote there?

Realizing I would probably never see him again, I had to go back inside and ask him what he wrote.  He smiled, he didn’t say anything, but rolled up his sleeve and showed me his arm.  Then he proceeded to tell me a little bit about his family and how his grandfather always called him Red.  I thanked him, left, turned and waved, smiled and said, “Bye Red”.  We connected.  Red will always be a pleasant memory, for me, of  being in West Virginia.

At the beginning of this adventure,  mistakes, if that is possible, were made.  Those “mistakes” now show the road my book has gone down to become what it is today.

A “mistake” made in the beginning was not always using the right pen.

Now, what is the right pen?  What it would be for me, may be something different for you.  You may want everyone to write with whatever they want to write with, to show how different people are.  Maybe you want to use a lot of different colors.  Maybe you want girls to sign with pink and boys with blue….who knows what is right for you?

What I found to be right for me is the pen my daughter gave me with my book.  It is perfect because it writes clearly, cleanly and easily. Not like this! No blotches and no bleeding go through to the other page.   If this is what bled through, think how overpowering it is on the other side of the page.  And what happens to the person I find who has a July 15 birthday?  Only time will tell.

And as seen in the photo below, one signature overpowers the entire page.

So that is when I decided to carefully provide the pen that works best for my book.

You can find the pen I use at this link:

Annie’s Favorite Pen

So pick your weapon, keep it on hand and find your right to write!

Who do you listen to the most each day?  Who is your favorite person to listen to?  The person we listen to the most, each and  everyday, almost non-stop, is ourselves talking to ourselves when  we are thinking.   And sometimes Self comes up with the funniest thoughts.

One day, for no particular reason, Self said to Myself, “How many people are alive today that have known you for your entire life?”  Myself replied, ” I have never thought of that before.”

So Self talked some more and came up with seven people.  Seven people in the entire world who Myself knew were still living, who have  known me since the day I was born.  Two aunts, two uncles, one sister, one cousin and my mom.

Then Self said to Myself, “Wouldn’t it be fun to get all of these people in your birthday book?”  And Myself replied, “That is a great idea.”

It took nearly two years to go to several different places to see these special people.   These extraordinary individuals have played an unusual part in my life story, and I seem to just take them for granted because they have just always been there.     How special it was to be able to watch them sign their names in my book.  Hopefully, I was able to tell them how thankful I am for their part in my life.

It was a wake-up call to how fleeting life is.  A wake-up call to see these life long connections as an important  part of my life.  The ones that have been in my story for decades.

So when you talk to yourself, take some time to appreciate the people that have been there for the long haul.   Self told Myself  it was time well spent!

As you begin your journey, you will have many of the same experiences I have had since people are alike in so many ways ….. and yet you will experience things never dreamed of, since people are so different in so many ways!

As my quest has progressed, there are things I wish I’d done differently from the start.  As a result, a set of “rules” has grown out of my different experiences.  However, there is one rule that is the MOST important rule of all! 

RULE # 1

NEVER WRITE A PERSON’S NAME IN YOUR BOOK!!!  

Each person has to write THEIR name on THEIR birthday! 

Why?

There is a totally unstudied, unresearched, unproven reason why I made that rule.  Let me explain.

My dad has been gone for many years, but there is one picture of him that is my favorite.  It is so completely the essence of who Dad is.  Therefore, I have concluded that there is something special about people when they are writing.  They are transferring some of who they are onto that piece of paper!  It’s a moment when the brain and  heart of the person ends up on the page.  Each person has a specific way to write.   And then…… when the person is writing THEIR NAME, maybe a little bit more of who they are is being transferred to that page.  And then…… when they are writing THEIR NAME on THEIR BIRTHDAY, I believe — if you sneak a look at them — you will see a bit of that real person.  

When Dad  posed for this  picture he was just trying to present himself in the best way he could.   It’s just him posing! But when he is writing, he is thinking … thinking about how to transfer his thought into letters.  When Dad was sitting at his desk writing — he wasn’t posing, he was just being him.

Also, when people are signing the book themselves, they add thoughts and ideas that bring the book  alive.

So, my unscientific conclusion is that when someone signs your book, you have a small piece of them right there, to remember and enjoy, and you get to experience — maybe, for a moment — that person being truly themselves.

This little book is one of the best birthday gifts I have ever received. Before my daughter  wrapped it up for me she found a list of all the special birthdays in my life.

Have you ever paused in this busy, crazy world and gone through a yearly calendar to find each date that means something to you? Like October 25th.  Every time I hear  October 25th , I think of Mom. In my world, October 25th  is Mom’s birthday.

When my daughter found one of my special days, she took a little sticky note and put it on that day with the person’s name on it. Then, when I would get to be with that person, they would take the sticky note off and write their name on their birthday on the TOP line of their day.

But, whoa! What if that person is no longer around to write their name on their birthday. That is how it was for my Dad’s birthday. Dad has been gone for 8 years. Well, my ingenious daughter solved that problem.

She found letters that loved ones, who are now gone, had written to me and cut their signature out and pasted it on their day.

With her careful preparation, my book was then given to me to complete the task of finding a birthday for every single day of the year.

When you have all your special days saved for those special people in your life, then you are ready to begin your journey of finding old friends, new friends, relatives and those special “nobodys” that enter your life for a brief moment who become a special somebody to you.

So I welcome you to follow along and catch the vision to see how this can happen and I hope you will have as much fun, fewer mistakes and as many surprising moments as this little book has brought to me.

TV is not my thing.  Reading is what I wish was my thing.  Our home has a TV  with no cable, so when a good sports game comes on, we often can’t watch it at home.  Such was the case in October 2016 when the Cubs were in the playoffs to go to the World Series.

To solve this problem my husband and I headed to a Happy Hour at a local restaurant to settle in and watch the game.  We were sitting at one of those high tables,  squeezed in next to another table about 3 inches away.

Continue reading “A Moment in Time – Then Forever Gone”